Finding Time for Self-Care as a Special Needs Parent

Finding time for self-care is one of the first steps to improving your overall self-care routine and wellness. Self-care does not need to be a time-intensive task, but it needs to be factored into your days, weeks, and months so that it happens. This can help prevent caregiver burnout.

Oftentimes, we are told that we all have the same 24 hours in a day. However, as special needs parents, these 24 hours can easily be consumed with the usual parenting tasks and the additional time requirements of caring for a child with special needs.

While we cannot make more time, we can take time to find time for ourselves and our care. Taking the time now can help prevent having to take the time later if you become sick or burned out.

Now that we have gone over the importance of finding time for self-care in your special needs parenting journey, let’s look at some steps you can take to actually find the time for self-care within your existing routines.

Today we are going to look at the following steps to finding time for self-care: 

• Tracking Your Time
• Making Some Cuts
• Delegating or Decreasing Time on Other Tasks
• Planning for Downtime
• Consolidating Tasks
• Multitasking When You Can
• Putting Yourself on the Calendar

Steps to Finding Time for Self-Care

Step One: Track Your Time

While this initial step will take some time initially, it will give you an idea of what you are already spending your time on and where you can make changes. Just like keeping a financial budget to learn where our money is going and making changes to ensure money is going where we want, keeping a time diary will help you budget your time.

You probably already keep a calendar of basic appointments, such as dentist on Tuesday at 3pm. You mostlikely also have a mental time log for your days, such as wake up at 6:30am, bus at 7:15am, leave for work at 7:30am, etc.

In this step, track how you spend your time for a week or two. This can be a simple handwritten running list. Pick a time increment, such as 15 minutes or 30 minutes and fill out how you spend you time.

For example:

Monday

6:30 – woke up, brushed teeth, changed clothes

6:45 – made coffee, woke up child, drank coffee

7:00 – helped with breakfast, found backpack, walked to bus stop

As you track your time, patterns will emerge. These patterns and insights will allow you to take the next steps.

For additional help and insight, you might find a guided time journal useful. This journal will help you track the next ninety days and get a deeper look at how you spend your time and how you want to spend you time.

Step Two: Make Some Cuts

Once you have a better idea of how you are currently spending your time, you can start to analyze activities. Is this activity necessary? Is there something in your time log you do not have to do? Could you try skipping it next week and see how that affects your overall time management?

Maybe you could cut five minutes of scrolling social media and replace it with brushing your teeth or doing five minutes of stretches? Or could you watch one less episode at night to catch up on sleep or add in a longer shower and some reading?

Step Three: Delegate or Decrease Time on Other Tasks

You probably found a few tasks you would like to cut, but that still need to be done. Can someone else do them? If you do not have an adult partner and your child is unable to contribute to the task, can it be outsourced? 

You could possibly reduce tasks that you cannot delegate or outsource. I even closed off a bathroom to reduce cleaning time for a while.

For example: batch cooking allows you to cook once and have a few meals. You could also order out once a week to give yourself time for other activities. Another option is making simpler meals such as a soup, sandwich or cereal dinner a few nights a week.

Online shopping and curbside pick up is a way to cut down on time in the grocery store. This has saved me time as well as money and prevented the stress of in-store tantrums. The store app also keeps shopping lists so placing orders is even quicker. As a bonus, I pick up groceries every week at the same time and get a premade deli meal. One dinner is taken care of for the week!

Step Four: Plan for Downtime

Downtime happens throughout our days. Some we know will happen and others come as surprises. Having some self-care activities ready to go will help you make the most of this time. For some more ideas you can read this post: Self-Care Kits for Special Needs Parents.

For example, I know I will have at least five minutes of downtime while I wait for my groceries to be brought to my car. I use this time to work on a crossword puzzle I keep in my car.

During appointments for your children you may find yourself in a waiting room for thirty minutes. This downtime can allow for some reading, mindful breathing, listening to a podcast, or even journaling.

Step Five: Consolidate Tasks

Batching tasks together can allow for optimal use of your time. For example, if you have three stores to visit, going out and coming home in between each store is often not the best use of your time. This same principle can apply to tasks at home. For example, while you are cooking dinner, you can load the dishwasher as you go and prepare lunches for the next day. While I make my child’s evening snack, I also make myself a cup of tea or hot chocolate and set up the coffee pot, my purse and AM medicine for the next morning.

Step Six: Multitask When You Can

Multitasking is not the best habit, but what I mean here is more along the lines of caring for yourself while you care for others. For example, my child needs me to sit in the room while he showers. I use this time to do my nails or straighten my hair. When my children take downtime, I make sure I use some of that time for my own downtime as well. If your child is having some time on the computer or watching a tv show, could you work on a small hobby? I like to color, listen to audiobooks, or work on a puzzle when my children take quiet time after school. These tasks are easy to start and restart if interrupted and also allows me to model for my children that mom takes time for herself too.

Step Seven: Put Yourself on the Calendar

Once you have discovered how you are using your time and then cut things out and found more free time spaces throughout your day, it is time to write yourself into the day! Physically writing yourself into your planner or to-do list raises the level of importance. It may feel strange at first to write “read five minutes,” “take a bath,” or “paint my nails.” But, if you want to do these tasks, writing them in your daily plan is the first step. You may be starting with “change my clothes,” “brush my hair,” and “take a shower.” Start where you are.

Finding Time for Self-Care: Summary

Today we looked at the importance of taking time for self care. We acknowledged some of the additional time constraints that special needs parents face. We looked at seven steps you can start today to start finding time for self-care. These steps included: tracking your time, making some cuts in your schedule, delegating or decreasing time spent on some tasks, planning for downtime, consolidating tasks, multitasking when appropriate, and putting yourself on the calendar.

Once you have found a few more free moments in your day, you may be looking for ideas that can be done quickly and easily with little to no preparation. You can find 50 ideas in the post: Fast and Free Self-Care for Special Needs Parents.

Finding a few chunks of time, even short periods, will start to make an impact in your overall self-care and wellness. You are worth the time and effort. Please share with us and other caregivers a time saving tip you have found useful in the comments section below.

Looking for a beautiful and intentionally designed planner to keep your time management flowing? Check out these amazing Erin Condren Planners. There are daily, weekly, monthly, and specialty planners in a variety of sizes and styles.

Finding time for self-care can be a serious barrier for special needs parents. For additional barriers and action steps you may be interested in reading this post: Reducing Barriers to Self-Care for Special Needs Parents.

Sign up for our newsletter for more great resources in your in-box and a free printable self-care list.