Reframing Loneliness and Isolation for Special Needs Parents

Reframing loneliness and isolation for special needs parents can increase overall life satisfaction.

Special needs parenting can feel both lonely and isolating. However, finding ways to better enjoy time spent alone can help make this a less painful aspect of being a special needs parent.

Remember, you may feel lonely on this journey, but you are not alone.

A Note on Feeling Lonely and Isolated

There are several reasons special needs parents can experience feelings of loneliness and isolation. These are on top of the many ways all parents can feel lonely and isolated during stages of parenting.

Few people are sharing their journey.

Empathy is different from genuine friendship.

Special needs parents have many responsibilities.

Special needs parents often have limited time for social activities.

Feeling lonely and isolated is not pleasant. This can be made worse by societal pressures like FOMO (fear of missing out). There also seems to be a negative outlook on being alone. Before we continue let’s look at ways society may be increasing your feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Addition Causes of Loneliness

Let’s think about how social media, tv/movies, your past, and your expectations/assumptions may be adding to feelings of loneliness.

Social Media

While we know social media is showing people’s highlight reels, it is difficult not to feel jealous or like everyone else is out having fun. Scrolling social media can make you feel like friends are moving on. It is easy to feel jealous and lonely when scrolling social media feeds.

Use social media wisely. There are several groups for parents for you to connect with others in similar situations. You can also learn from those with children slightly older than your own. Full Cup Caregiver has a FB page you can follow to fill your feed with positive special needs parenting and self-care posts.

TV and Movies

TV and movies can often create unrealistic expectations. Characters are often together and surrounded by supporting friends and family. Downtime, mundane activities, and solitude are rarely featured. However, in most neighborhoods people do not walk into each other’s homes without knocking.

Remember that what you are watching is fiction. Just like many tv/movies about schools or the workplace is very different from reality, so is the amount of social interaction as well.

Your Past Experiences

If you were raised in a busy family, it may be difficult for you to spend more time at home. However, you may be at home more often due to therapy, health issues, or difficulties in larger settings.

Expectations and Assumptions

You entered parenthood with some expectations about the experience. Many of these expectations may have turned out not to be true. This is not just because you are a special needs parent. Our pre-parent selves did not and could not truly know what to expect. Give yourself permission to let go of these preconceived notions.

What you perceive or assume other parents are experiencing can also affect your view on your social life. Remember the popular advice that comparison is the thief of joy.

Switching focus Reframining

I am not suggesting we bury our heads in the sand and ignore our feelings. But, we can try to look at the situation from a different angle.

What happens when we pivot from focusing on loneliness and isolation to the ideas of solitude and focused “me” time.

Loneliness and Isolation have negative feelings.

Solitude and Focused Me Time can have a more positive feel.

Your personality also plays a role!

Extroverts tend to enjoy lots of time surrounded by others. If this is you, finding ways to address this need through work or community groups is important. If you are more introverted, then time at home and in small groups may be preferable. It is ok to enjoy alone time!

You may be lonely, but YOU ARE NOT ALONE

In addition to reframing our time alone, take time to question your feelings and assumptions. As we saw above, there are many ways we can have our feelings of loneliness and isolation amplified.

Remember you are not Alone.

You may feel lonely at times on this journey.

But, you are not alone.

As we saw above, there are several factors exacerbating our feelings of loneliness and isolation. When overwhelmed or feeling low, take a minute and question your feelings. Ask is this true? Why do I feel lonely? Can I reach out to someone to connect? Or could I take some time to enjoy some quiet and alone time?

Remember we are all walking a unique journey, but there are others on your road walking with you or cheering you on. Look for them and appreciate them.

Loneliness may be a sign that you want to spend more time with others. This can be done.

Take time to cultivate relationships. Other parents are probably also struggling with these challenges and feelings. Reach out, go slow, and be patient.

We look at several ways special needs parents can do this in Finding a Good Support System as a Special Needs Parent.

Ways to Enjoy Solitude

Read a magazine or a favorite book.

Journal.

Watch whatever tv show or movie you want.

Try a new hobby or dust off an old one. We have several suggestions in Hobbies to Boost Self-Care for Special Needs Parents.

Spend some time using items from your self-care kit. Or, if you do not have one, make one from suggestions in Self-Care Kits for Special Needs Parents.

Do nothing. Not all time needs to be spent being “productive.” Sit in a favorite spot and enjoy looking out the window or a cup of coffee.

Look through an old photo album.

Go for a drive or a walk if possible. If not, try some yoga poses or a short guided exercise routine found online.

Read another post from Full Cup Caregiver 🙂 You may like Getting Started with Mindfulness.

Take a bath or a shower.

Eat a favorite meal or snack.

Paint your nails or do an at home facial.

Take a nap.

Reframing Loneliness and Isolation for Special Needs Parents: Summary

Feelings of loneliness and isolation are common along the special needs parenting journey.

Today we looked at some of the reasons you are feeling this way. We also looked at reframing these feelings and focusing on more positive feelings of solitude and focused “me” time.

In addition to taking steps to better enjoy time spent alone, you can also work towards building community.

I hope some of the activities shared today will help you better enjoy your time spent in solitude.

Remember you may feel lonely, but you are not alone.

Sign up and receive a self-care printable!