Self-Care When You Are Exhausted: Slow & Gentle Self-Care

When you are exhausted, it can be difficult to attend to even basic self-care tasks. However, self-care is extra important when you are exhausted and can prevent burnout You may feel like you are running on empty. This is a warning sign to start taking small steps to refuel and recharge.

Special needs parents often deal with both long-term and short-term exhaustion. Burnout is a very real concern. Both your physical and mental health require rest and replenishment.

Why Are You So Tired?

The first step in addressing your tiredness is to explore the cause(s) of your exhaustion. Once you have a better understanding of why you are exhausted, you can take steps to address and improve your situation. Let’s look at some potential reasons you may be feeling extra tired.

Habits 

Are you staying up too late watching one more episode of a favorite tv show? Scrolling through social media can quickly push you past a planned bedtime. Is your room dark enough and quiet enough for you to get proper sleep? Are your eating large meals or having caffeine too close to bedtime?

Your Schedule

Does your schedule have too many activities? One of your days may have multiple therapies to lighten the rest of the week, but is the rush of the one day wearing you out for the next few days? Are activities too early in the day or too late at night? Maybe you are rushing between the office and getting a child to therapy or sports.

Food and Exercise

Dehydration can take a toll quickly and in the long term. Take a look at your diet over the last few days. Are you eating more fast-food than usual? Stress can lead many people to overeat or undereat. If our bodies are not getting the right amounts of water and nutrients, exhaustion can follow.

Going to the gym might seem counterintuitive when you are exhausted. A gym has rarely been a possibility in my special needs parenting journey. However, movement and exercise around the home are still possibilities. Adding exercise and more movement in your day has many benefits. I find it helps take my mind off of worries causing mental exhaustion and improves my sleep.

Stress and Worry

In addition to physical exhaustion, stress and worry can be draining and feel exhausting. Special needs parents deal with chronic or ongoing stress as well as situational stressors. Being aware of additional stressors will allow you to take steps to address self-care during these times.

You may also be interested in reading Better Quality Sleep for Special Needs Parents.

Now that we have explored possible causes of your current exhaustion, let’s look at some possible solutions.

Action Steps For Self-Care When You Are Exhausted

Habits

Now that you have identified some habits that may be interfering with your sleep, let’s look at some ways to increase self-care and reduce exhaustion.

Action Step: Turn off electronics an hour before bed. Blue light is known to interfere with our sleep. Reducing exposure to blue light, especially before bed can help. If an hour seems too much, start small and turn the brightness of your phone down and aim to increase time in five minute increments. I like to listen to familiar audiobooks or guided meditations before bed. These are on my phone, so setting the brightness to dim and then turning the screen off or the phone over reduces the brightness while I listen.

Action Step: Start a new habit! Try a nighttime routine such as brushing your teeth, washing your face, and using a relaxing lotion such as lavender. Keeping an evening routine will start to cue your body that it is time for relaxation and sleep.

Action Step: Ask yourself if you would do this activity with a child an hour before bed. If the answer is no, then postpone the activity for yourself as well. Excessive sugar or caffeine, scary movies, or watching the news can easily interfere with your sleep.

Schedule

We all live busy lives. Now that you have analyzed your schedule, consider ways you can optimize your schedule to decrease stress and exhaustion and build in time for rest, recovery, and sleep.

Action Step: Remember that rest and sleep are important components of your day. Schedule in time to rest, time between activities, and time to prepare for and get sleep.

Action Step: Find a cutoff time for activities to allow you to get home in time to prepare for bed. If possible, consolidate or remove tasks that are leading to exhaustion. 

Action Step: Explore other time management strategies in Finding Time for Self-Care as a Special Needs Parent.

Food and Exercise

Food and exercise are tied to our overall wellness. Now that you have explored your current nutrition and movement, let’s explore some ways to improve them to decrease exhaustion.

Action Step: Drink water. This sounds simple, but there are so many reminders about this for a reason. We can easily become engrossed in our activities that we forget to hydrate. Keep a cup or travel mug of water near you as a reminder and easy access. Make a habit of drinking water with your meals for extra opportunities to hydrate. I keep a pretty teacup in the bathroom. When I wash my hands, it is easy to fill up the teacup and have a few extra sips of water and be on my way.

Action Step: When things get busy, it can become a habit to resort to more fast food than I would like. I find having a few meals on hand in the freezer to be helpful. When I make a meal and we have leftovers, I freeze them and reheat the meal on hectic days. Having simple, easy to make meals is also helpful. 

Action Step: Have some healthy staples on hand. In addition to having easy access to water, I find having easy to grab items such as bananas, apples, and yogurt help me take a few healthy snacks to work if I am rushing. They are also there for me to choose while at home.

Action Step: Add extra movement into your day by taking the stairs or even walking up and down the stairs multiple times as exercise if your home has stairs. You can also take extra steps walking around the home while you cook, clean, do laundry, or just listen to music. You do not need to leave the house to add movement. Even a few squats and stretches while brushing your teeth gets in some movement.

Stress and Worry

Stress and worry can cause an emotional drain and exhaustion. Special needs parents often deal with chronic stress levels. Worry can cause difficulty falling asleep or keep us awake in the middle of the night.

Action Step: Get some of your worry and stress out of your head. You can do this by talking to a friend or a therapist. You can also write it out in a journal. I find the act of writing worries out to be helpful. It can feel as if I am temporarily taking them out of my mind and physically putting their weight onto paper. Just like with to do lists, I sometimes like to then cross out the worries, rip up the paper, and throw it away.

Action Step: Be present. Focusing on the now is a powerful method to reduce stress. Sometimes the actual moment is very painful. But, often, like right now as you read this, there is no immediate danger. This is not to minimize your worries, they are valid. However, mindfulness practices can help you minimize the stress and toll the worries take on you.

Action Step: Grounding. Bring yourself to the present by thinking of something you see, feel, touch, taste, and hear. Now think of three things you are grateful for today. Lastly, think of two things that are going right at the moment. Right now, you have access to a computer or phone to read these words, you have electricity, and you have the ability to read to name a few positives.

Read more strategies in Ways to Reduce Stress-Related Side Effects for Special Needs Parents.

For added stress support try journaling, aromatherapy, or a natural supplement.

Holistic Approaches for Self-Care When You Are Exhausted

Let’s also consider some other activities you can put into practice to help deal with, lessen, and prevent exhaustion in your life.

Do Nothing Day

Our society puts a premium on productivity. From time to time it is important to step back from the daily grind and do as little as possible in order to let your body and mind rest and recharge. I like to call these “stay at home days.” The children and I can sleep in, stay in our pajamas, take a nap, watch tv, read, do puzzles. If we cannot do this for an entire day over a weekend, I try very hard to have at least the afternoon and evening quiet on Sunday evening.

Bedroom Makeover

Making a few changes to your room could greatly improve your night’s sleep. Blackout curtains can help darken your room. A fan or a white noise machine can help block out distracting noises. A new pillow or an extra blanket could increase your comfort and reduce tossing and turning. Weighted blankets are also helpful.

Small Self-Care Steps

Noticing your exhaustion and that it needs to be addressed is an important first step. Each small step you take is a positive step forward toward the energy levels you desire. Have a glass of water to start your day. Take three deep breaths each time you notice your exhaustion. Go to bed ten minutes early. Check in with yourself frequently and see what else you need.

Exhaustion may be a sign that some other self-care areas need some TLC. Has your self-care routine taken a backseat to other daily concerns? Try some ideas in Quick and Easy Ways to Restart Your Self-Care Routine.

Self-Care When You Are Exhausted: Summary

Self-care when you are exhausted is an important step to avoid burnout. There are several potential causes for the exhaustion that special needs parents experience. These can include habits, busy schedules, food, exercise, stress, and worry.

It can be challenging to think of self-care activities. This is especially true when we are exhausted. You will find a list of 50 easy to accomplish tasks in Fast and Free Self-Care Activities for Special Needs Parents.

Having self-care activities ready to go is also helpful for times of exhaustion. Having a self-care kit can be invaluable in times of extreme tiredness. Check out the steps for creating one for yourself in Self-Care Kits for Special Needs Parents.

Looking to improve your sleep? Read Better Quality Sleep for Special Needs Parents.

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